Alcohol, a social lubricant. Work is the curse of the drinking classes. Yup. Burp. sorry ;-)
So, back from the pub, having bumped into a variety of old friends with whom I imbibed a few pints. I found this a nice relaxing experience.
One of the people I met was a lady who I knew reasonably well in the days when I suffered badly from depression. We knew each other socially then, and she was fundamentally embarrassed to find me in the same therapy/recovery group after we had both been through breakdowns. She was keen to avoid any knowledge of her condition getting out. So I have never told anyone, although when we have met in subsequent years we ask each other elliptically how the other is doing. She is now married to a very nice guy, with whom she is very much in love, but she's still waaayyyy too thin for my comfort. Is this me being massively overprotective again, letting my inner Mommy loose (I have a strong anima)?
I enjoy (I hope) and take enormously importantly the trust of my female friends. Being a mensch is one of the things I care about. Does it make me less of a man?
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Women like a man they feel they can trust.
But do men trust you as well?
Well, from a personal and professional perspective, engineering is about trust. It's about being able to trust the judgement of your fellows, and to take on board the scrutiny of others in return. It's fundamental to teamwork that you can rely on others to get on with a task, and do it as well as you might yourself.
This is what a lot of male bonding is about. It's making sure you take your turn in goal during 5-a-side football games, getting a round of beers in when it's your turn, looking after the safety of your team when you're working down a mine shaft, being able to stop hold the end of a rope halfway up a cliff when your friends lose a handhold. In all-male environments, trust is something that forms the basis of all teamwork. You choose your friends on the basis of mutual trust.
The opportunities to build the same level of trust with women are more limited.
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